Wednesday, September 17, 2008

KELINGA KUI!! (INDIAN DEVILS)



It was past midnight and the night was pitch black.Me and my buddies- Bala and Sivaji all lay crouched amidst the thick lallang grass which were plentiful in the area.( I was 15 years old then) We were all waiting for the moment when the lights in the house up the little hill to go off and then we would spring into action. We had made this plan all day long at the Chinese cemetary and now the moment was here. Our target- the cluster of durians up there in the tree belonging to a skinny old Chinese man and his family.

The night was so still and warm and the mosquitoes were giving us a bad time.But we were determined to sit through. My friend Bala whispered in exasperation- Why doesen't that Chinese Apek- just go to sleep? Its already so late. Then in the stillness of the night we clearly heard the words in Hokkien- "KUM HOAY KALIAU KEE KOON LAH!! MAH CHAI CHEAH DOLIAN!!"(off the lights- its time to sleep- tomorrow we eat durian!!). Then at last- the lights went off and it was pitch black.

Then we came out of the tall lallang grass and sprang into action. Sivaji immediately started scaling up the trees. On the ground was me and Bala with our sacks to gather the horny loot.Then, suddenly in the stillness of the night I thought I heard something in the lallang stirring behind us.Unknown to us, the Chinese Apek had somehow managed to sneak right behind us and waiting quietly- and he too was concealed somewhere in the lallang -we just didnt know where, and he had brought along a long bamboo stick in his hand.

I think he swung the bamboo real hard at Bala because I heard Bala scream in pain-YAMMMMMAHHHH!!the yell of Bala resembled the squeal of a village pig which just got its throat slit.I had always thought that Bala was a tough guy but that night he proved me wrong- I had never heard him scream so loud in pain. Then the Chinese Apek started yelling- "KELINGA KUI!!KELINGA KUI!!WAH PAK LOO SEE!!( Indian devils, Indian devils!!I 'll beat you to death!) Next thing we knew,suddenly the lights in the house were on again and I saw a few guys started rushing out of the house all holding huge sticks in their hands.

For a moment, I froze in terror and Bala got another "whump!!" AYAHHH!! then I threw the sacks as Bala bolted down the hill terrified, with me running right behind him. We ran without looking back. Sivaji jumped off the tree and fled in the opposite direction-and disappeared into the thick darkness somewhere into the thick lallang again- but not without a few whacks from the group which jumped out of the house. Next day I saw Sivaji limping and Bala with a huge swelling on his right arm all with depressed looks on their faces. All three of us sat at the same cemetary in silence.Well,that was one misadventure I could never forget. The moral of the story- if you are planning to steal durians make sure the owner is not hiding around somewhere nearby with a bamboo stick!

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Kuala Lumpur, Selangor, Malaysia
Origin- Penang.Came to KL in 80's to study theology.Threw away my religious books after 4 years to read Law.