HELLO?

VIJAY DURING OLD AGE!!

How in the world did I ever get married to you? This is the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life.God,how could you ever do this to me??I thought if I prayed, you would send me the right partner. I feel shortchanged and cheated!!! Vijay-The Midnight Owl

GOD HAVE MERCY!!

Why can't more women take up pastimes like these and be a source of pleasure for the men instead of just nagging,grumbling and complaining about us day by day??!!Why are YOU the source of so much pain?? Vijay- The Midnight Owl

COMPANY LAW

This is how students look at me when I am explaining the Law Relating To Corporate Personality. Vijay- The Midnight Owl

DELUSIONS

It appears that some peoples delusions have no limits.Maybe its time to visit the Family Court and listen to some divorce proceedings. Vijay - The Midnight Owl

YOU AND ME- ARE WRITTEN IN THE SCARS!!!

THE HUMAN ANIMAL

These creatures had the horrible misfortune of being born on the same planet the homo sapiens species live. Vijay- The Midnight Owl

OHHHH MY HOMETOWN PENANG!!!

I grew up on Penang Island and used to ponteng sekolah with my friends from the same village.The beach was always our favourite destination.In our younger days we used to cycle to the beaches,laughing and chatting,-without a care in the world.I spent many,many days like this.How times have changed!!! Sigh!!Youthful Vijay- where have you gone?I dont want to grow old!!! Vijay-The Midnight Owl

THANK YOU SIR!!

A big thank you for putting Malaysia on the world map. During my first visit to the USA,an American woman asked me "Does it snow in Malaysia?" I told her we were facing the worst snowstorm in our history.Of course, nobody asks those kind of questions these days.Thank you again,Sir.You are a role model for all Malaysians. Vijay The Midnight Owl

EYES FOR YOU !!

The picture says it all. I need not "menjelaskan dengan lebih terang kepada Mahkamah Yang Mulia ini." any further. Vijay. The Midnight Owl

SMILES

I was asked the same question once, and I could not smile for 2 weeks.Further I broke the chair and the table.Some monkeys from the past just linger on in our minds!! Vijay. The Midnight Owl

POOR COPS!!

I saw these 3 women outside my window trying to distract me while I was doing my homework.I quickly called the police but by the time they arrived the women ran away.I am very disappointed with the police. Vijay. The Midnight Owl

POLITICAL ARGUMENTS

Dont argue with me okay? My religion is better than yours,My race is better than yours,My customs and language are more important that yours.Even the way we dress is holier than yours.And our skin colour is superior to yours.We are the majority and you are the minority-so you dont talk equally with us!!!Either you agree with us or get out from here!!Is that understood-PENDATANGGGGGGG???

THE ANNAPURNA RANGE

The is the third day of my trek towards the Annapurna Range,Nepal.The view is just fabulous.Its like being on a distant planet.It's a different world altogether. Vijay- The Midnight Owl
Is there a meaning to our existence here on Earth or is one just fated to be born here?

CAPPADOCIA

This is Cappadocia.I arrived in Turkey,then from Istanbul,took the overnight bus to the remote regions of Cappadocia.One of the things I love most while there,is to go for long walks amidst the deserted mountain roads.Sometimes I feel I could walk forever-just me,the sky,the deserted mountains and my dearest Friend & Soul Mate-Miss Solitude.The silence is beyond description,the atmosphere very,very still.And yet,I don't feel alone.There is a very certain,distinct stillness in the air.One's heart slows down its beating.I am not half-way across the world...I am at home. Vijay The Midnight Owl.

WAITING?

Dont waste your time waiting for that someone special to somehow fall into your lap.Those kinds of events only happen in dreams and fairy tales.Get out there and let yourself be seen. And then the miracles seem to happen. Vijay

Remember the other side of dreams are nightmares.In fairy tales the toad transforms into a dashing prince. In real life, sometimes the once charming person turns out to be a half breed Jackass!!So be cautious in your choice. Vijay- The Midnight Owl

MY FAVOURITE TAG LADY

This is the latest lady that I am dating.Besides taking her to fancy restaurents,my other duties include clearing out her rubbish everyday,helping with the laundry,buying groceries,and taking her mother to the dentist to fix her teeth.My minor duties include peeling the onions, cutting the garlic and dicing cucumbers and potatoes to fix her a nice meal.She asked me to polish her shoes once but I told her its rude to ask an Indian man to do that kind of thing. Of course she sulked the whole day. I am looking foward to a happily married life with her. Vijay.

P.S. Personally I think she has a face that one could love forever.Definitely she's millionaire's material and SHE IS MY FAVOURITE TAG WOMAN,MY ONE & ONLY DARLING.

OFFICE OUTLOOK

Dont go to office looking like this. Its not only discourteous but extremely repulsive and offputting. If you are in no mood for small talk or any conversation,you can always go to your private corner and brood until you get over the depressive feeling. But avoid interacting with colleagues with this look- it is depressing to others and for many,it evokes fearful feelings and wanting to take MC for the day!!Cheer up-the feeling will pass.The Sun will shine again -for everyone. Vijay- The Midnight Owl

MASKS

They all say the same thing- dont wear masks.To me thats a piece of first class crap.Sometimes masks are necessary,especially if you are a missionary in a land filled with murderous religious or political lunatics, be they Hindu mobs or Serbian Communists.In a world in which some are prepared to kill for holding political views different from their own-masks are a must.Strangely-this also applies in the workplace.The greatest peacemakers in this world had all to wear masks-from Kissinger to the UN.Masks are only wrong if they are meant to deceive others-not for ones own safety and self preservation.Have a healthy fear of others or else you will get chewed. Vijay
Posted by vijay at 9:49 PM

ATTENTION

Never appear overly greedy for attention, for it signals insecurity.Understand there are times when it is not in your interest to be the center of attention.When in the presence of a superior,or the equivalent thereof,bow and retreat to the shadows.Never compete.This is a lesson that the heavens teach us.The stars burn just as brightly as the sun,but they never appear in her company. Vijay The Midnight Owl

GRANNY LIZ REBECCA

Granny Liz Rebecca- if you got through to here,please make a comment below your picture here, so I will know. Regards. Vijay- The Midnight Owl.

DR. SHIGEAKI HINOHARA

At the age of 97 years and 4 months,Shigeaki Hinohara is one of the world's longest-serving physicians and educators. Hinohara's magic touch is legendary: Since 1941 he has been healing patients at St. Luke's International Hospital in Tokyo and teaching at St. Luke's College of Nursing.

DR.'S ADVICE

Energy comes from feeling good,not from eating well or sleeping a lot.

Don't be crazy about amassing material things

Pain is mysterious, and having fun is the best way to forget it.

Life is filled with incidents

VISITOR.

Its been a very quiet day for me and this is the only visitor I had for the whole day.Thanks for dropping by pal.I feel very much better now. Vijay

A COMPLAINT TO ALMIGHTY GOD!!

Oh My God, whoever you are,how come I never met a lady like this in my younger days??You have just made me very,very upset,and I am not talking to you again.
The Midnight Owl

THE UNBELIEVABLE!

When my Colleague told me she is going to see the King one weekend,I gave her a cynical smile.But I did not laugh when she showed me this picture!!It turned out she was also the Secretary for a golf tournament in memory of our late Tunku. Now I am wondering who else she has seen in town!! Vijay- The Midnight Owl

SECTION 11 CONTRACTS ACT 1950

To all those who went to Chinese schools for your earlier education and "sudah di takdirkan" to attend MY class,I have this to say.Sect.11 talks about undue influence.The proper way to pronounce Section is SEK- the diction cuts down here- and then "tion" as in station. It is not pronounced as SEX-tion. All female students please take note-whenever you mention this word some guys are looking at you as though you just dropped a hint.One students face turned pink red. Vijay- The Midnight Owl

Guys-you need to look at your books while I am reading out a text.Keep the side glances elsewhere.Seolah2 saya telah dijatuh hukum oleh Mahkamah untuk mengajar murid2 ini.

REPAYMENT

"There is a time and a season for everything under the Sun"- King Solomon. This seems to be the time for repayment for all the inhuman abuses.Give your BEST SHOT my friend!! The Midnight Owl- Vijay

GRATITUDE

This is how I look like when my students forget to do their homework!! Vijay- The Midnight Owl

COMPANY MEETING.

Sorry honey-this weekend I will be away for a very important Company's meeting.The meeting only begins at 8.pm.But please don't call me after 10p.m because there will be a close door meeting about some very confidential matters which I am not at liberty to discuss with anyone.Bye and Good Night. Please hug all the children for me and say "Papa loves you."Remember- go to bed early. The Midnight Owl Vijay

TIME FOR MYSELF

Hello there,this is my dwelling place.Somedays its Welcome Time, and somedays its Off Limits.I have had many visitors from around the world.Local visitors seem to love gathering around the marble table for a meal and chat away.Others love the TV.The other chap here is one of my former students,now a Manager at one of the prestigious Hotels in KL.His nickname is "THE KINGPIN". Sometimes the conversation goes on until the late night hours.On special days,families drop by to prepare a meal for me(and also to ensure that there is no dead corpse rotting in one of the rooms).Whatever you choose your home to be,may it be Blessed. Vijay- The Midnight Owl.
Posted by vijay at 11:27 PM 0 comments

THE HONDA STORY

I wrote in an article for Honda and won 1st prize.I was featured in their September magazine. I couldn't believe it- they actually featured me in 4 complete pages!!! It was only a very short story,but then,miracles happen.I will be in Japan sometime this year.May miracles happen in your life too. Vijay- The Midnight Owl
P.S. A lady student told me Japan is very expensive and there are no discounts there.I dont know whether to agree with her or not.

VIJAY & ASSOCIATES

The proper way to pronounce the word ASSOCIATE is A-SSO-pronounced as CEO- and ends with CIATE.And not ASS-O-CIATE. There is a subtle difference in meaning depending on the way you pronounce it!So please be careful when using this word. Vijay- The Midnight Owl
Posted by vijay

FOLLOW ME!

Hal sendiri tak boleh jaga tapi nak tolong lain pergi kah "Promised Land" pula.Take care of your self first,then we can think about others.When we are stuck in situations like these,its safer to spend that particular season in silence.Reflect- how did you get into this mess? It has been my observation that some people are just gifted at creating problems for themselves.I think its a natural gifting and they were just born with it.But for now,its advisable to cut the crap about helping others- just get out of your situation first. The Midnight Owl

CAUTION!!

Behind the promising,harmlessand attractive exteriors of most friendships,lies the silent and lurking serpent within.It bids it's time.But for now its all sweet smiles,warm handshakes,lengthy conversations over tea time and enjoyable flatteries and exchanging confidences.Yes,its bids its time,it does not show its face or nature yet- because circumstances are not favourable as yet.As the Serpent lies completely motionless with hardly any sign of hostility, that its victims let down their defences thinking its friendly-and harmless.As the smiling 1st Class Moron unsuspectingly relaxes,is chummy as usual,that the Serpent slowly gets ready for action. He is about to learn a lesson he will never forget for the rest of his life.
The Midnight Owl

It is your own outdated strategy,not the unfair opponent that are to blame for your failures.

THE SECRET

The secret to a peaceful life is to mind your own business and live your own life.Never mind even if it's a shed.But its yours and thats what matters. You are not eating your bread at anyones table.Relax this rule and soon you will find some monkey on your back tearing at your hair. The Midnight Owl

THE FAMINE AND THE ASS.

THE FAMINE & THE ASS
Once upon a time there was a sore famine in the land and so all the animals of the forest held a meeting to discuss this matter. The King of the Beasts, -His Majesty the Lion chaired the meeting and spoke up first- my brothers and fellow comrades, I believe that the reason for this famine is that one of us have offended God by a terrible unpardonable sin.So there is a heavy conviction in my conscience that a confession of our heinous crimes must be made today. I for one in my hunger have torn many of my fellow citizens to death and had them for lunch, dinner, crunched their bones and squeezed out their delicious marrows for supper.There is nothing like a blood soaked meal.I am still grieving for what I have done.

Then the fox spoke out-I feel very humbled by your Majesty's honesty but I must confess that I have snatched many little lambs from their mothers arms and have had many great meals.For that I am sorrowful but I feel the real culprits are the Shephards since they were sleeping on their jobs.All the other eminences were assembled there -the tiger, bear , crocodile, snake,hyena and each in turn made their grim confession of murder, brutal killings,mutilations, rapes,cannibalism and the phythons sobbing confession of swallowing other citizens while still alive.

Then all eyes fell on the ass and the ass nervously made his confession. Well my beloved countrymen -I distinctly remember some time ago that I passed by the old farmers house who lives at the edge of the forest.I could not help noticing the lump of lovely and delicious green grass in his farm So I quietly sneaked up and grabbed a mouthful and quickly slipped away.

To this confession all the other animals shouted with one voice against the ass,screaming on top of their voices- Why you vile beast, how could you ever have the heart to do such a heinous crime against an old farmer? Surely YOU are the reason for this famine!!! And in the commotion, they tore the ass to death.

MIdnight Tales from Vijay
Penang.
Posted

GOOD MORNING

THE BRIGHT DAY

PSSSST?

Psssssssssttttt!!!!???Hey,just one last question- just to make sure. After I sign here, am I getting my brand new Camry or not? If you are fooling around with me,there will be another Constitutional crisis not just in Perak, but right here in Kuala Lumpur.
The Midnight Owl

RESPONSE

I am thinking about the numerous times you have subtly stabbed my back while facing me with the sweetest of smiles.And I am thinking how I should respond.Should I take the Christian attitude of "Forgive thy brother 77 times?" or confront you fearlessly and challenge you to a public duel like Wong Fei Hoong and cripple you with my secret kung-fu? Or shall I be like the"Godfather"- and quietly arrange for something bad to happen to you? Much as I try, you arouse angry feelings in me,and I just can't seem to forgive your snakelike ways.I am still thinking.It never occured to me that though you were silent,you are such a poisonous viper. The Midnight Owl

BE QUIET

GREETINGS.

DON'T LOOK

YOU LIGHT UP MY LIFE.

GREAT.

He said WHAT about me? HA-HA-HAA And you believed him? How long have you known him? 2 weeks? And how long have you known me? 30 years? And what made you believe him? Either he's a very skillful liar or you have ears that attracts liars like them.If neither,then I perceive,my dear friend-you are a complete Jackass who needs to close your ears.You really made me laugh!! The Midnight Owl - Vijay

THE FACE OF GOD

AHA!!

Dont you worry,I am not telling anyone-because there's nothing much to say!!! Vijay

THE CURE FOR SNORING

Nine Curious Ways to Stop Snoring//Man playing didgeridoo
(© PhotoAlto/James Hardy/Getty Images)
2. Play the didgeridoo
A study from the University of Zurich showed that regularly playing this Aboriginal wind instrument reduced daytime sleepiness and nighttime snoring in people with moderate sleep apnea. "The effects of the didgeridoo are similar to singing," says Joanne Getsy, M.D., medical director of the Drexel Sleep Center in Philadelphia. "Playing it strengthens the upper airway muscles that dilate the airway and reduces the chance that the airway tissue will become floppy during the night, which causes snoring." Dr. Getsy says tuba, trumpet and clarinet players have a similar advantage—though research in this area is minimal.

MOMENTS

Moments come,moments go-not all in harmonious timing.Nevertheless, the bitter moment must go. And the hearts of humanity ache with untold disappointments- although this is quietly concealed from the public eye.But that is nothing to be ashamed about.Display your vulnerability and that is where they will strike again and again. Look at things as they are and not as your emotions colour them.Journey well my friend. The Midnight Owl

UNDEFINABLE ATTACHMENT

THE CURE

After seeing this picture.I can't write or read my Law Reports.Everything comes to a standstill for a moment.The only thing that can overcome this unholy moment is a teh tarik drunk in one of those back alley's operated by a group of illegal immigrants from Bangladesh wearing their faded sarongs. TThe Midnight Owl

GOOD LESSONS

GOOD DAYS BRING GOOD MEMORIES AND BAD DAYS BRING GOOD LESSONS.LEARN THE LESSON WELL OR PAY THE FULL PRICE.
VIJAY- THE MIDNIGHT OWL